*__r0xy mEe_
sHiiyUn`
23 yrs 0ld
gRaduated fr0m NgeeAnn Poly
currently with HOYA medical
*wiShiN`weLL
* Levi 593
* t0 be < 45kg~
* ad0ptin` a puppy!!
* estee lauder - pleasure
* a perfect pair 0f shades
* endless travelling with my friends
* drivin` myseLf in my 0wn car!
* new pair 0f col0r lenses
* a super nicey diam0nd necklace that i'll never need an0ther one!
*__backwaRds
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*__bl0ggiEs_
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-zaRa
Friday, January 28, 2005
dun0e what's gt int0 me~
feelin' s0 terrible tt i just merely sat d0wn 0n the bus..
feelin' s0 b0ttled, s0 unappreciated.. and cried..
n0t tt it's unlike me..it's tt.. i feel that..
i lost the courage, the interest, the faith i used t0 have..
bc0z of this.. f0r dun0e h0w l0ng, i saw myself cryin'..
unbelievable.. didnt imagine i am s0 weak afterall..
split personality is gettin' str0nger..
i d0nt like t0 be treated as th0u i can d0 nuthing..
i d0nt like t0 be seen 0nly when im in need..
i dun0e..
recently, i feel this strong discontentment fr0m a pers0n..
whenever i talked t0 **..
** gave me a feelin' like, can u finish ur sentence quickly..
i've n0 time f0r y0u.. terrible!!!!
but, when face-to-face.. everything seemed "0kok" n0t t0o bad..
then whenever a c0ld expression came, i h0pe with a smile, i can break the stiff-ness..but, did it?
i dun0e.. i cant tell.. expression-less..
t0day's p0ol made me feel useless..
i can d0 nth 0ther than sellin' c0okies~
seeing everyb0dy runnin' b0ut.. bein' busy..then me?
and then dad called..
went d0wn t0 meet-up with him.. f0r quite s0me time... c0z i th0t..
i wasnt necessary there..tt's what the impression tt i received...
what i d0?
sell c0okies...
went up..feis t0ld me with an anger t0ne "ni shi zh0ng hen jiu h0r!"
feelin' s0 maligned again~
c0z deep in me..i was all al0ng thinking..
when i was there.. i l0oked s0 extra~ tt's personal feelin'..
s0, with0ut me..n0b0dy would n0tice~
d0nt think tt im making up excuses..tt was really hw i felt~
abandoned n useless..
jUst a useless & discarded mEe"
*** sHiiy Un` QUee niE-joj 0 *** as at 1:42 AM