* The End of it *

This post is going to be so not inspiring.

Like I said the in the previous post, the next time I am going to blog about him is when I would say we broke up.
Indeed, what can be more true than female species’ Six sense.

We ended our less than half a year of 2-become-1 journey last night.
It was the shortest ever. I can hardly believe it.
It was just SO SHORT.
We were both astonished.

However, like I texted some of u, I was half relieved, half reluctant.
Afterall, I had sensed it all along, and I knew it in me that this mustn’t be drag anymore. It’s just a matter of time.

The breaking up synopsis was such a drama.
I hated my dramatic life.
I simply wanted it to be simplified.
1 + 1 = 2
Instead of ((1 + 1) +2))( – 1 +2) – 3….
Isn’t it supposed to be just the 2 of us?
Well, forget about working out the equation.

To make it as easily understandable as possible:

• He asked if I were happy.
• I said being happy is about feeling contentment.
• Silence
• I probed and asked about the under lying meaning
• He feels that we might be happier being friends.
• I diverted the topic as I knew emotions are coming
• I texted him at night to continue
• We chatted
• We confessed - the pros and cons.
• Tried to worked confusions out
• Decided to stay as friends for the moment
• Afterall it was a wrong time to start, he concluded.
• I thanked him for the happy moments and memories that we shared
• I cried
• He got affected and remained quiet
• He said he felt terrible too
• However, the best solution for him is to concentrate on priorities which at that point of time, is not me, but work.
• He kept on repeating bout feeling guilty with not being able to give me what a girlfriend should have while we were together.
• I said I will miss the breakfast he used to buy for me
• He said he will still do the same
• I said I will misses his dog
• He said I can pop by anytime I like
Lots more in fact, but recalling them are tortuous.
Spare me.
I have cried all I should have. And this should be enough.

Got his msg in the morning that says,
“From now till ever, there still will be.. Happy moments”

@$&*(&(*&^%#$#@
He has never ever said these really touching words when we were together.
Now that we actually broke up, he finally released the long-forsaken emotions.

I got back to work and we greeted each other with brightful smile as if the previous night was nothing but a dream.
Confusing reaction BUT precision-clear status.
The rapport is there, and will be. Always.

Then he asked me for dinner later in the evening, so we bought dinner back to his place,
sat down and watched Harry Potter.
How else more weird can this go?

But fine, ambiguous all from the start. AGAIN!
No commitment, how nice.
Urrgh!

As time flies by and you grow up, you waited for your own fairy tale to build up. You always thought that the first hands you hold would be the ones that you would hold down the aisle someday, you threw yourself into the relationship, with the promise of love. "Happily ever after doesn't seem so far" you thought.

Soon thereafter, you learnt that forever never lasted as long as it should and that "forever" is just a word meant for fairy tales, a word that would never fulfill its meaning in the real world.

You hate, you resent, you cried. You tried to pick yourself up from the mess and pain.

The next pair of hands that offers itself seems warmer, with every beat of your heart; the warmth filled your entire body. You felt a new breath of life, wilted flowers bloomed, the sky seems bright and you feel your wounds heal. You began to believe again, even more so. This must be it you tell yourself. You indulged, you gave in, and you made sacrifices, until the vicious cycle repeats itself.

After all these time, you began to feel jaded, you don't believe in what you did years ago. You look into the eyes of the young and you envy them for having that hope you had once harbored. You look into your own eyes and you know, the world had made you lost your innocence. Love, will never be as sacred as it is suppose to be.


Sometimes new people walk into your life and quickly fill up the empty void in your heart...

But after a while you learn the difference between holding a hand and falling in love.

You begin to learn that kisses don't always mean something and promises can be broken just as quickly as they are made and sometimes... goodbyes are the true meaning of forever.

P/S: It’s only until u loses it then u started remembering how much u actually wanted it.
Walking behind him, from the back and realized I’ve somehow lost something precious.

P/SS: The last part of the above is re-applied from a friend’s blog. I thought it suits me this time round.


Another new beginning
*** sHiiy Un` QUee niE-joj 0 *** as at 12:38 PM